


Remember How We Used to Be

by HeithChief



Series: Tumblr Prompts [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Based on a Tumblr Post, Happy Ending, Keith Centered, Keith is suffering, Kerberos Mission, M/M, Originally Posted on Tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-26
Updated: 2017-07-26
Packaged: 2018-12-07 04:38:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11616039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeithChief/pseuds/HeithChief
Summary: Based off a tumblr post by acehealer & captainkaltar. Before leaving for Kerberos, Shiro records a series of video messages to keep Keith company while he's gone. Keith listens to them every night before he goes to sleep. He continues this tradition even past hearing of the Kerberos Pilot error. After Shiro is found again, Keith notices that Shiro has lost a bit of himself. He's not as bright and innocent as he once was. The year as a Galra prison has taken that from him and it kills Keith inside that he can't do anything about it. (Happy ending I promise :P)





	Remember How We Used to Be

**Author's Note:**

> Song inspirations as alwasy for my works: (GOSH I had a whole angst playlist, but here are highlights)  
> "I see nothing in your eyes and the more I see the less I like. Is it over yet, in my head?" - Breaking Benjamin ("Breath")  
> "All in all, you're no good, you don't cry like you should. Let it go. If you could." - Breaking Benjamin ("What Lies Beneath")  
> "The stars will cry, the blackest tears tonight, and this is the moment that I live for. I can smell the ocean air and here I am, pouring my heart onto these rooftops. Just a ghost to the world, that's exactly, exactly what I need" -Story Of The Year ("Anthem of My Dying Day")

Inspired by [this.](https://acehealer.tumblr.com/post/162415396210/headcanon-that-when-shiro-left-for-kerberos-he)

* * *

The stars used to be Keith’s favorite part of the night sky. They lit up the night sky and filled Keith with a nervous sort excitement. There was still so little known about the universe and what was out there. It was thrilling to Keith to just stare up at the stars and imagine himself flying amongst them. Then he could find out the many secrets and mysteries that the universe held. It was why he joined the Garrison in the first place, the reason he met Shiro. He’d never met someone so full of life and adventure, yet so willing to help others succeed. If Shiro hadn’t taken him under his wing, Keith’s life would have been a whole lot different.

              But now, now, he cursed the stars for taking Shiro away from him. There was no way the “pilot error” reasoning was actually the truth. Shiro was a prodigy pilot, he would never make a mistake like that. Something had happened, something that the Garrison was hiding from common knowledge. Something he couldn’t find out no matter what he did. Now he was here, hiding out in a desert shack, searching for meaning, for something that he couldn’t even identify. Keith shifted his position on the roof and looked up at the stars. He pressed his lips together, trying to hold in his sobs, and pressed play on the first video on his phone. Every night he found himself up here, screaming at the night sky and watching the same videos.

              Shiro’s face came into view and Keith’s lower lip trembled. The Shiro on the screen ran a hand through his hair and smiled. “Hey Keith.”

              _Ugh, it’s so good to hear your voice. To see your pretty face._

“I decided to make you a little something so you could watch it while I’m gone. It’ll go by in a blink and then maybe next time I can take you with me.”

              Shiro was smiling through his whole sentence and there was a light, a sparkle of excitement in his eyes as he spoke. Keith’s fingers ghosted over Shiro’s face, careful not to actually touch his phone and accidentally pause the video. This way he could pretend they were just video chatting, that this was in real time.

              “We just got back from our first debriefing meeting today. I’m just…ugh” Shiro made an incomprehensible gesture with his hands that never failed to make Keith smile a little. “I don’t know. I’m excited, but I’m also so nervous. I’m going to be an actual _pilot_! I’m going to fly to Kerberos, the furthest we’ve ever flown before.” The excitement faded a bit and Shiro’s expression fell a little. He worried his lower lip for a moment before looking back into the camera. “Sorry. I…I’m going to responsible for flying us, Matt and Commander Holt the furthest we’ve _ever_ flown. It’s crazy.”

              “But you’ll be fine. You’re the best pilot of your class.” Keith said, as he always did in the brief pause. A single tear rolled down his cheek and he didn’t even lift a finger to brush it away.

              “I know,” Shiro smiled and rolled his eyes. “I know you’ll say something like ‘you’re at the top of your class, they chose _you_. You always believe in me just like I believe in you. That’s why I’m never afraid to be myself around you. I want to keep these short so I’m not taking up a ton of your phone memory. Anyway, I’m excited, I’m nervous, but I’m finally going to do it! I’m going out there to explore the universe like we always talk about. I love you. God, I love you so, so, so much. You’ll be fine. Keep acing your simulations and work on controlling your emotions. Maybe you be a great pilot yet.” Shiro grinned cheekily and blew a kiss to the camera before the screen went black.

              Keith pressed the edge of his phone to his lips. “If only I could. I wish I was still doing those things like you hoped. BUT THEY AREN’T DOING ANYTHING!” Keith raised his fist and screamed at the sky. “They’ve stopped looking for you, but I won’t. I won’t ever give up on you. Not now, not ever. I’ll find out what this energy, these transmissions, mean. I have a feeling they lead back to you.” His hand fell limply at his side toward the end of his speech. His heart still held hope, but his logical brain told him he may be chasing a dead end. _No, I can’t afford to think like that. I’ll see Shiro again. I have to believe it._ He took a deep breath and pressed play on the next video.

              The first part of the video footage was shaky and Shiro’s voice was hushed. “Okay. Keith, I’m taking you on a little adventure here. It’s secret, and I’m not supposed to be around the ship right now, but I want to show you it.”

              Again, Shiro had a giddy sort of smile and was crouched down, holding the phone low to the ground. Shiro had always been so full of life and had a little side of him that loved to joke around. He was so cheery and upbeat that it always made Keith roll his eyes in a fond sort of way. In front of others, he was professional, focused, and impossibly driven. Around Keith, he was funny, loved adventure, and bending the rules a bit. Keith could listen to him laugh for hours. Even after pushing him away a million times, Shiro still did his best to be part of Keith’s life. Never did he think he was worth it, but he was luckiest man alive.

              Luckier, even when Shiro had confessed his love. Shiro had blushed so hard, but only second to the blush on Keith’s face. Their first kiss had been awkward and they ended up laughing at how bad it was. The second wasn’t much better, but by the third time they had not bumped noses or clacked teeth. It was amazing, as was every kiss after that.

              “Yes, I’m out after curfew. I know, ‘so scandalous for the golden boy’ as you would say.” Shiro managed to sneak past the guards and into the control room. There Matt was waiting for him, sitting behind the computer, the screen reflecting back on his glasses. He looked right at the camera and sighed heavily.

              “Hey Kogane. Of course, Shiro would need an accomplice for this mission. It’d be you, if this wasn’t a surprise for you. Let it be known, I was against this. I don’t want to get in trouble a _week_ before we leave. Use this video as proof. Anyway, I’m doing this because Shiro asked me to and because it’s you. You who brought Shiro out of his shell and made him happier than I’ve ever seen him. And I’m leaving Katie and mom behind so I get why Shiro wanted to make these” Matt looked over the camera at Shiro, “the ship’s ready for your little tour. Make it quick.”

              Shiro kept the camera in first person as he walked toward the ship. So, Keith got a beautiful, shaky view of the platform and stairs. _Shiro really needs to work on his cinemaphotography skills_ Keith thought to himself in a little personal joke. It made him smile through the tears that had left streaks down his face.

              “So here we have the technical parts of the ship. I mean, maybe I should know how it all works, but that’s what we have Matt for.” Shiro chuckled at his own joke and Keith let out a small sound between a chuckle and a sob. He wanted to laugh with Shiro as they always did, but now he could bare bring himself to let out one little laugh.

              “Here’s the kitchen area where we’ll delicious space, freeze dried food. You are talking me out to the nicest steak dinner when I get home. I swear. Either that or you’ll cook me something.”

              “I will. I will do anything for you once you come home.” Keith murmured softly, closing his eyes for a moment to take in the timbre of Shiro’s voice. He didn’t even need to watch the video anymore, he had everything memorized.

              “This is where we’ll sleep when it’s safe enough to put the ship on autopilot. Mmm, yes, they look super comfortable. Tighter than trying to fit two of us into your twin bed in the dorm.” Keith opened his eyes and followed the video into the cockpit. “This, this is where I feel most at home. I’ll be spending most of my time here. No matter where I am, I’ll be thinking of you.” The camera shifted to the second seat, “I wish this is where you’d be sitting. Soon. I know it’ll happen. I love you and I’ve gotta sign off so we don’t get caught. Bye baby.”

              _Baby…I used to hate that pet name, but you always said it with such tenderness in your voice. I’d give up anything to see you, to hear that tenderness again. No one else had ever addressed me that way._

              Keith swallowed, barely allowing a lag between them this time, and played the last video.

              Shiro was sitting his in his room and adjusted the phone that was probably balanced on a pile of textbooks. “Hey there.” Shiro blew out a loud breath from his mouth and paced in front of the camera. “It’s the night before and I’m freaking out a bit. I don’t know how everything is going to go. I wish I knew everything that was going to happen. I wish I was more prepared somehow. That I could account for anything and that I could promise I’ll return safely, but I don’t know. Something could go wrong, something could happen that’s my fault.”

              Keith bit his lip so hard he tasted blood. If only this wasn’t foreshadowing. If only he could close his eyes and wake up from this nightmare. If only Shiro would be here when he opened his eyes. If only those things hadn’t become true.

              Shiro had stopped pacing and sat down to look directly into the camera. “I’m thinking about all that, but I also have something worth returning to. So! I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen. Patience yields focus, after all. I’ll fight with everything I have to see you again. I love you more than you’ll ever know. More than I can say or even comprehend. You won me over with your steady determination, your love for flying and your natural, intuitive instincts. Not only that, but how careful you are with letting those who are important to you into your life. I’m one of the few who actually got to see past your ‘cold’ exterior.” Shiro winked at the camera.

              Keith’s heart was pounding as it always did at this part of the video. Almost always he rolled his eyes and scoffed at any sort of romantic bullshit, but when Shiro did it, he could swoon.

              “I know, shut up. You do rub people the wrong way sometimes, but I know you’ll be a great team leader someday. By the time I come back, I better hear that you’re getting along with your team and not only relying on your superior flying skills to save your asses. You have such a kind, caring heart that you get angry sometimes when it comes to justice issues. I love that. Remember: Shiro loves you baby!” Shiro gave the camera finger guns in an overly exaggerated way that he knew would make Keith shake his head. Shiro’s smile faded a bit as he walked over to the camera and stopped recording.

              Keith took one last look at the stars, glaring them down, before he climbed off the roof. He slowly got himself ready for bed, replaying the last part of the third video as he brushed his teeth. Curling up in bed, he kept his phone close, flicking through the random pictures of him and Shiro. Keith had never been one to take a lot of pictures, but now he thanked every deity in the universe that Shiro did.

* * *

              Shiro was back. HE WAS BACK! Keith had to still pinch himself sometimes to believe that they had gotten a second chance. It had been a whirlwind of events that had led them to becoming so called ‘defenders of the universe’. Keith wasn’t super sold on the idea, but as long as he could be by Shiro’s side again, he’d go anywhere.

              It had been a long time since Keith even thought to look at the videos on his phone. Now he could hear and see the real Shiro. He didn’t need the videos. Well, almost didn’t need them. Shiro had come back, but not all of him. It killed Keith inside a little. Shiro joked a little, but not like he used to. Now he was focused on the team and leading Voltron.

              That light, that spark of adventure and life had been sucked out him. Something in Shiro’s time as a Galra prisoner had snuffed it out. It was Shiro, but a muted version of Shiro. One would who had dreams that woke him up in the middle of the night. One who hardly slept and was always ready for disaster to strike. One who hid his true self in darkness so it couldn’t be taken away again.

              Then again, Keith had changed since they had last seen each other. He had lost some of his spark as well. When he slept he was haunted with dreams of the year he spent alone in that cabin. The nights he screamed at the stars. The nights he cried himself to sleep, begging someone, anyone, to bring Shiro home to him. The worst ones were the hyper-realism ones. Where finding Shiro, the Lions, and forming Voltron was a sick joke that his brain had made up as a way to cope. Each time, he would wake up and be in the cabin again. Alone. Then he would sit up in his room in the castle, covered in a cold sweat, and gasping for breath.

              They had both been changed and were closer now than they could’ve been at the Garrison. Keith wouldn’t trade that for anything, but he still was kept awake wondering ‘what if’. His heart still broke when Shiro was drowning in flashbacks or when he would smile and it wouldn’t reach his eyes in the same way.

              “Keith? Are you awake?”

              Keith jumped a little, startled by Shiro’s voice outside his door. He dropped his phone on the bed, but didn’t close the video app. “Yeah, come in.”

              Shiro smiled at him as he entered. It was the closest thing Keith ever saw to a genuine, ‘old Shiro’ smile. At least their romantic relationship hadn’t changed. It would have torn Keith apart inside to pretend that he didn’t still love Shiro with all he had. “Hey, I couldn’t sleep and was looking for company.”

              “Me too.”

              Shiro walked over to the bed and sat down. He looked down and saw Keith’s phone between them. He recognized the still of his face immediately. His hair wasn’t partially white and there wasn’t an ugly, pink scar across his nose. Shiro looked into Keith’s eyes and read him easily. “I didn’t know you still had those.”

              “I haven’t watched them since the night we found you.”

              Shiro smiled sadly and nodded. “I thought about you all time. Things were easier back then, huh? When I didn’t know what was in store for us, and when I didn’t get captured by some alien race.” He scooted closer, closing the space between them. Keith nodded and slid into Shiro’s lap so he could be held even tighter.

“I sometimes wish we could go back.” Keith murmured as Shiro rested chin on top of his head. They fell into the familiar pattern, molding into place, in a way that only they fit together.

“Me too.” Shiro kissed Keith’s hair and nuzzled closer before continuing. “But, I do like how we are now. We’re part of something bigger, y’know? Something that would could have never imagined in our wildest dreams. I always knew you were meant for great things.”

Keith smiled fondly, “True. I love you.” It always felt so good to say it and have it received by a person instead of a screen.

“I love you too.” Shiro tilted Keith’s head back so their lips could find each other. Nothing felt better than kissing Shiro. At least that euphoric, grounding sensation still lingered. No matter what happened, they would always be anchored to each other. There were things Keith wished he could change, but at least they were together again. That was all that truly mattered.

             

**Author's Note:**

> I hope y'all liked it and leave a comment to tell me about it, maybe ;) This was painful to write with all the Sheith angst that I bet will be coming up in the next season.


End file.
